The Young Lords
By Walt Atwood

STORY SYNOPSIS

Starbuck and Boomer are probing near the delta-class planet Attila in the Omega Sector when they are ambushed by four Cylon fighters. While three of the Cylon ships are destroyed, a fourth damages Starbuck's Viper before slipping away. Boomer leads Starbuck to Attila for a controlled crash landing.

On the surface of this marshy world, the Cylon garrison administrator, an IL-series model named Specter, is overseeing the fortification of a captured human castle when a centurion brings news of the viper battle. Specter radios Baltar aboard the human's Cylon baseship. Lucifer is not amused with Specter's flattery toward Baltar, but both are interested in seeing the Colonial pilot captured and interrogated to discover the Galactica's position. Starbuck, suffering from a leg injury, tries to evade a Cylon infantry squad. As the centurions carry the warrior back to their castle garrison, the squad is quickly ambushed by a small band of indigenous human youths riding in on Unicorns. Starbuck blacks out as they rescue him.

When Starbuck awakens later in a fire-lit cave the young woman named Miri (portrayed by Audrey Landers), clad in thin cloths and feathers, cares for him. Attila was invaded by Cylons in the recent past, and her family, who lived in the citadel-like castle, were driven underground. Most of the castle-villagers, descendants of migrants from the Colonies, were killed, except for this cave-dwelling of brothers and sisters. Miri mourns the loss of their mother. When the eldest boy, the tall teenage Kyle (Charles Bloom) returns and calls the pre-teen siblings to formation for a patrol report, he insists their father is also dead. Starbuck is baffled at how these children managed to both stay alive and harass the Cylons in the castle.

On the Galactica, Boomer and Apollo gain permission from an ailing Adama to take a shuttle back to Attila. They rule out sending a large force of vipers for the rescue. Tigh and Adama are both disappointed to discover the Cylons have penetrated this far into deep space. On the Cylon basestar, Lucifer checks over records of Specter's progress on the planet. It seems that, for a successful garrison which supposedly exterminated the inhabitants, Specter's unit repeatedly places substantial materiel requests, including calls for more weapons. When Baltar signals Specter again, the Cylon misleads the human by reporting the captured pilot is both in custody and receiving medical attention. Lucifer is still chaffing, but Specter is successfully conning Baltar into sympathizing with the garrison's plight; on such a wet planet, the Cylons are rusting. Kyle leads a raid on the castle again, but this time he has Miri plant a message offering to exchange Starbuck for their father, Megan. (Played by Bruce Glover.) In the castle's watch-tower jail, Specter brings Megan the news of his pending freedom, and extracts a commitment from the father to stop the rebellion.

As Kyle readies to exchange Megan for Starbuck by floating each across a mote, Starbuck pleads to Kyle and Miri to beware of treachery. True to form, Specter's infantry squad brings Megan to the mote's shore to speak, then puts a straw dummy in the Cylon boat to float across. But Specter is surprised to find Kyle's raft with the dummy wearing Starbuck's uniform. Kyle relinquishes command of the young warriors to Starbuck. They then plot to invade the castle through a secret entrance, rescue Megan and blow up the fuel depot. They chant a battle song with the plans on how the little ones will plant bombs and use slingshot grenades to disrupt the garrison.

Specter is caught in the position of having to explain the din of the attack to Baltar; the Cylons are destroying all shelter in a "scorched planet policy" as they await permission to evacuate their ailing unit to the basestar. Baltar falls for it, and Specter orders the troops to board the transport ship. Starbuck and Miri rescue Megan just as the family assembles in the castle. The Cylons depart just before Apollo and Boomer's shuttle lands. Megan decides his family will stay on Attila. Starbuck kisses Miri good-bye. Boomer snorts "I don't know how he does it."

A Second Look

Unlike the well-worn fighter-pilot-on-patrol-gets-stranded-on-a-planet-and-needs-rescued outings that have been all too abundant thus far in BATTLESTAR, "The Young Lords" is the most fun as a guilty pleasure. The kids get to recite, and then play out, their fireside commando battle song. (Was this an omen of the rap era, which hit the urban scene just a few years later?) Starbuck gets to make cozy with a very young Audrey Landers. (Child molestation, anyone?) And of course, true to the 1970's, the unicorn-riding kids from the cave dwelling in the Neighborhood of Make-Believe get to make war on King Friday's castle. One has to ask, why didn't the Cylons just take Trolley into the tunnel, or recruit the wicked Lady Elaine Fairchild to use her boomerang-toomerang-soomerang to win back the day? (XENA, WARRIOR PRINCESS would've sided with kid-power anyway. And we didn't need to see Starbuck loose Miri to a love triangle with Xena and Gabrielle.)

On the plus side, this episode establishes several Cylon conventions which make their presence more interesting and less confusing in the series. We see Specter, an IL-series Cylon like Lucifer, in command of a Cylon garrison. Specter distinguished himself as devious and conniving, while Lucifer displays suspicion and jealousy. ("Felgercarb!" and "Daggit drivel!") Baltar chuckles at the rivalry. There's more character development among the bad guys than anyone else in this story.

We also get to see more of the Cylon baseship's interior. Baltar is shown entering his new throne room, which is apparently the bridge of the dreadnought vessel. We see centurions manning control panels and dealing directly with him. And, much like the bridges of starships in STAR TREK, he uses a wall-mounted viewscreen for ship-to-surface telecommunications. His new throne pedestal is much smaller, but more attractive, than the huge one in the Imperious Leader-style throne room. (Notice Lucifer is never shown sitting in it or rising from it.) The passage leading to this chamber is shown, lined with buzzing electronic luminaria. Baltar is even shown engaged in the operation of the equipment here, as if he really is a hands-on Cylon commander-in-chief. Specter confers with Baltar, even taking orders from the human. This shows the character, played by the recently departed stage and screen star John Colicos, was growing both in depth portrayed and in influence within the empire.

Sadly, Baltar and his Cylon allies didn't grow fast enough in BATTLESTAR. These scenes should've occurred much earlier in the series. Specter and the Attila garrison come off as clowns, having been not just sabotaged but outright bombarded by a ridiculously small group of kids. The only way this could've worked would be to take the plight of the Attilans more seriously as a larger, bleaker, more serious rebel Underground. It would've helped if a cue had been borrowed from "The Gun on Ice Planet Zero", where the clones were hiding children and someone still living in the garrison had sold out to the Cylons. Another opportunity missed.

It is easy to ridicule "The Young Lords" showing such a small group of youths attacking a Cylon garrison. It trivializes the suffering of children living in an occupied territory. These kids act like they're out for summer camp. And the most ludicrous fakery of combat is shown when Specter orders the centurions to fire across the mote. The children confer with Starbuck, "what will happen to father", in a normal tone of voice while explosions from Cylon volleys are heard very close-by. While previous commando expeditions seemed to have too much to do with the World War II espionage farce HOGAN'S HEROES (CBS/Bing Crosby, 1965-71), this BATTLESTAR story seemed to make F-TROOP (ABC/Warner Brothers, 1965-7), the Western cavalry spoof, look good. Actually, F-TROOP was good. And F's Capt. Wilton Parmenter (Ken Berry) could've given Specter some pointers on how to deal with the Indians.

Still, we never learn the true size of Specter's castle unit. It looks to be simply an outpost of a small company of centurions. We never see the size of the transport ship the Cylons escape in, but the handful of fighters engaged in combat indicates a small listening station, like the one seen in "Lost Planet of the Gods". Such a station could be set up for early warning protection of the soon-to-be-dedicated Cylon city on Gamoray, in the subsequent episode "The Living Legend".

At least Starbuck gets the best line in the show, when he remarks, "at least we don't rust", in reply to a centurion's insult about the fragility of the human body.

It boggles the mind. The kids have custody of Cylon weapons which should be capable of blasting right through the castle walls, exposing the garrison and giving the little rebels the upper hand. (Those blaster rifles have to be more powerful than machine guns.) Still, we have to show the little tykes underfoot, planting bombs.

Spectacle Value

Sexpot Audrey Landers, older sister of equally attention-getting blonde tease Judy Landers, adds a little extra spectacle to the show. Ms. Landers' career in films and television dates back to 1970, and spans through the late '90's. True to BATTLESTAR's habit of eye-candy sidetracking, Landers would ultimately appear with her sister in one of PLAYBOY magazine's infamously "tasteful" celebrity pictorials in the early 1980's.

Despite the recycling of old space combat footage, this episode offers some nice new spectacles, including the castle images and the other new venues, both on the planet and aboard the basestar. Another nice touch was the use of improved aerial computer graphics when Apollo and Boomer discover the surface battle in progress.

A very nice scene was when Boomer inspects damage to Starbuck's viper. Note that BATTLESTAR's makers showed a moment of brilliance by illustrating the battle damage to the ship's exterior by showing electric arcs flashing through the hull breeches, rather than showing a fire.

IF BATTLESTAR GALACTICA WERE NEW TODAY:

This episode could be done, but its execution would have to be much better. Children playing a role in an Underground war movement do not look like cub scouts out for a camping safari in the woods. They look like the tunnel-dwelling Viet Cong. There would have to be some explanation as to how they avoid Cylon detection. Their appearance would not be Audrey Landers-sexpot-style cute, either. Starbuck would feel great sympathy for a budding young woman, but it would not be of the cliched show-me-some-skin kind depicted here. As with the previous "The Magnificent Warriors" episode, we don't need to employ any such kitchy stereotypes to arouse Starbuck, any more than we needed to put the farcical fear-of-God into Adama.

It would be nice if the notion of Attila being a long-lost Colonial splinter outpost were tied into the subsequent discovery of the Delphian Empire capital of Gamoray in "The Living Legend." Could the Delphian Empire have been an offshoot of the Kobolian migrants? Could Attila be a Delphian fringe colony? Or could a marooned wartime expedition from a lost Colonial starship have started a colony on Attila many yahrens ago? If the Battlestar Pegasus made it out further than this, the later scenario could be possible.

They should show the rebel Underground in a more sophisticated light. If the kids knew about the Colonies and were literate enough to identify Starbuck by his rank, then some spacefaring Colonists must've brought that heritage to Attila. Either these settlers' descendants survived the Cylon invasion through special powers indigenous to Attila or they retain some technology. It would really be more interesting if the Attilan unicorns, instead of just having a horn, also had wings. Imagine a unicorn-pegasus hybrid that could fly in attacks on the garrison! (This, of course, would be an expensive, though innovative, effect for the series.)

The notion that an entire world could be considered "controlled" by the Cylons, simply by garrisoning one castle, typifies the cheap tunnel-vision of BATTLESTAR's writing. It would be something if Starbuck led a revolt by recruiting former rival lords from other nearby castles, or by showing a larger underground from this one. It would also be more credible if it were explained that Attila's surface were mostly ocean and the castle served as an outpost on the world's largest island.

The equally ludicrous notion that a guerrilla war can be fought by such a small force without the guerrillas suffering even a scratch would have to be ditched. If a guerrilla war is going to be shown, there would have to be casualties and real fear in their lives. The Bajorans of STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE are one example of how American sci fi TV did this successfully. World War II action for a small Army squad in rural Europe was shown at its nearly-bloodless best in the well-written COMBAT! (ABC-MGM/UA, 1962-7).

A Cylon occupation would have to be much more formidable and sinister. Think Nazis. Think Imperial Japanese. Think Soviets in Afghanistan. The characterization of Specter would have to be more than just a conniving royal milquetoast or a Colonel Klink. A good example of what prime-time television can do to show the ruthlessness of an occupying power would be WAR AND REMEMBRANCE (ABC, 1989), especially the scene when the Nazis in France confront the Jewish character of Aaron Jastrow (played by Sir John Gielgud). And the Galactica would have to send viper escorts to protect the rescue effort, even if they weren't sure where the previous ambush originated from.

TIDBITS & NITPICKS

This episode wastes time showing Adama, ill, in bed. Then Boxey comes along with the "pet" again. This takes time away from the story. At least we don't waste time showing spaceships being launched. Once again, Starbuck is missing on assignment and we don't get to see any reactions from Athena. We barely get to see Cassiopea express concern. Maybe they should've accompanied the rescue team. (Athena could've used the unarmed, boosted Recon Viper One to run interference over Attila, and later she could've used the superior speed and tracking abilities of the craft to home in on the fleet when returning to the Galactica, in case a change of the fleet's course were needed.)

So, Cylons worry about rust, eh? What a shame. Nobody better tell them about Ziebart.

Interesting that the Cylons conduct their command center in the castle's main hall, with a raging fireplace and candlelight. Why not show a centurion dressed as a court jester, performing a juggling act? Or maybe Specter could play a tune on a medieval flute. (Cylons don't breathe air, though. Or do they?)

It would make sense if the centurions wore holstered sidearms, not just carrying rifles all the time. It would free up their hands.

It was neat how Specter just hurriedly abandoned a working Cylon outpost, with the equipment still functioning. The Cylons left Attila without firing a shot. They could've nuked the castle from high altitude. Given time, and the possibility there might be other survivors hidden on Attila, Megan's revolt could prove to be a formidable thorn in the Cylons' sides. They took custody of their castle back, plus a full working garrison operation from the Cylons. And they have the wreckage of Starbuck's viper to salvage and study.

Maybe Specter expects the centurions will be as dishonest as "he". After all, are they going to refute their garrison commandant's lies about the "progress" of the "extermination" of the Attilans?

Since Boomer reported back about the firefight, it makes little sense not to send at least a small contingent of vipers to Attila. What do they have to loose? If the shuttle encounters resistance, lack of fighter protection makes a rescue impossible. Even if Specter's garrison has only one fighter left to muster, that one fighter could make short order of a shuttle. This is yet another reason why a bomber/ "PT boat" craft is desperately needed in BATTLESTAR.

Megan tells Starbuck how the Attilans are migrants from the Great Colonies, and Kyle knows about the Galactica from raiding the "tin cans". Earlier, in space, Boomer finds an unnamed "delta-class planet" for Starbuck to land on. Later, Boomer reports the planet's name is Attila, as if the Colonists knew about this distant world in another galaxy all along. It's so contradictory. On the one hand, Starbuck and Boomer are on patrol (in an area where there just happens to be a habitable planet for Starbuck to crash-land on) and never mention Attila. They don't even seem to be ready to deal with Cylon interceptors, or anything else, for that matter. And Starbuck is later surprised to learn of Attila from Kyle. Yet Boomer reports on this world to Adama.

The scene where Boomer inspects the damage to the underside of Starbuck's viper lends credibility to the notion this these fighters are faster-than-light craft which rely, at least in part, on high energy propulsion. (This as opposed to chemical-reaction rockets.) The electric arcs in the hull breeches are somewhat reminiscent of what you would expect of damaged warp nacelles in STAR TREK.

During the bedroom conference, Adama mentioned that a rescue operation would have less than 24 centares to recover the missing pilot and return to the Galactica.